Peering into an infinite regression, she lights it up and begins another session. Inhale. The tranquility overcomes the depression. Elation is, again, in her possession. But this level she’s on isn’t solely for the feeling, it’s more of her sanctuary for spiritual healing. She leaves behind the outside world, relying on her common sense, pondering on her life and it’s significance. She’s forced to face her own mortality and question the lines of her morality. Throwing away the influences to only be influenced by her practicality. Contemplating on the likelihood of her own death without the benefit of knowing she’s lived justice of all of her breaths. You. Just Don’t. Get. It. You look down upon her because you think she does this for the fun when, honestly, this is her only method for refusing to run. She’s sick of finding an escape from the demons. She wants to live, to truly live, as a freeman. Fuck the world. She refuses to relive all the low blows. There’s a freedom that comes from letting go. Exhaling her soul of mischief. Puff. Puff. The pursuit of happiness is enough.

12 April 2 Permalink

I guess there came a point where your priorities shifted and everything that you once told me went from promises to nothing more than fragments of left over trash next to your past encounters. It was not only a shock to me, but the girls you once called “friends”. How was I supposed to explain your actions, when I knew nothing of them and when I no longer knew who the hell you were? Their reactions were always along the lines of “Oh I thought you’d know since you two were close” and all I can imagine to mutter through my disappointment was “yeah, I thought the same thing.” I tried reasoning with your intentions, to make excuses with my head to justify your actions, but all I’m left with is another absent friend whose presence lingers. I thought you would be the last person to vanish from my life, my so called “for now” of a friend. I guess that’s just what happens. I hope you realize that you were the one who took this silent departure. You left. Not me. And if there is one thing that you should know, it’s the fact that I respect the decisions of others. I will not fight to keep a corpse when their soul has already left. I suppose this is a goodbye, but all I’m left with is the sight of you walking away. Don’t turn around, there is nothing left to miss.

But if you only knew..

11 April 3 Permalink

TO ALL BITTER ANONYMOUS AND TROLLS,

You don’t have a name. You don’t have a face. Therefore, your opinion, your thoughts, your statements, your insults that aren’t really insulting at all, are irrelevant. What good do you think it’ll do if you send me messages with words that would be considered offensive, but aren’t because you’re anonymous? You just wasted time out of your life to type me a message that I’ll read, disregard, and dispose of. If you’re going to attempt to degrade me, at least have enough balls to reveal your identity, otherwise, I’ll just think you’re a pussy and I’m sorry, but I’m not a dick that “jabs” with any pussy available.

11 April 6 Permalink